Friday, 27 April 2007


All this about poor pampered Harry. He says he is not afraid to die and so should be allowed to fight in the war.
And the boys right.
What is the point of the taxpayer forking out hard earned dosh on paying him and feeding him and clothing him and arming him and training him etc if he is to sit in a room with his feet up watching Corrie?
If he can do nothing on taxpayers money, can't everyone? And if everyone does where will all this money come from?
The taxpayer ofcourse. But hang on, no one will work so no one will pay tax.
Have we been here before?
Lets be honest, not many royals want to do a REAL days work, so when this lad wants to, let him get on with it.
If you join the armed forces there is a good chance of facing danger. Why should it be different if you are royal
Let him earn his keep because he will also earn the peoples respect.

Tuesday, 24 April 2007


I see that the US gun lobby says it is Britains fault that 32 were killed at Virginia Tech!!!
They say that due to Dunblane the teachers and students were not armed!!!
Only in America could this claim be made (see below).
If any idiot did not have guns it would not have happened.
How can more guns solve this problem?
Perhaps Americans want to kill all other Americans.
There would then be no one left to kill. Gosh--what a good idea.

Wednesday, 18 April 2007


What an idle bugger Jim Webber is.
He has decided to give up his work on the land because he says he can only work for 10 mins at a time and then has to take a little rest. " This is not fair on the people I work for" Jim says.
However before we brand Jim as just another scrounger he does say he will concentrate on selling his produce which will be a little more restful for him.
We should also bear in mind that Jim is 104 and has worked on the land for 94 years.
I think he deserves a little of my tax money and I am very pleased to hand it over to him. In fact I wish I could do it myself! I would love to shake his hand.
Bloody hell is this me writing this? Wanting people to take my tax?
Yes it is. At last I have found a just and worthy cause.
What a contrast to most of the idle living off my tax.
Thanks Jim. You have re-newed my faith in the human race.

Tuesday, 17 April 2007


Newspapers around the world lead with the terrible events in America yesterday,
Yet again a nutter runs amok and kills innocent kids.
But why should people be surprised?
This has happened stacks of times before and I promise you it will happen again.
The reason?
America ignores the facts.
They seem to think that guns are toys and people should be allowed to own them.
While this is the case this kind of thing will continue.
In more mature countries it is against the law to have a gun.
In America they are openly on sale. Believe it or not they have gun shops selling death. No one seems to bother because there is good profit to be made. In America profit comes before life.
Just remember--the purpose of a gun is to kill.
Do not be shocked when they do.

Sunday, 15 April 2007


I just love the Sunday Times.
After all how can a paper that charges 2 quid for news you can get for free on the internet be all daft.
However the advert on page 16 of sport today makes you hopping mad.
It is their own advert for shoes and says "Buy one get one free"
Now never one to take the piss I think this is in very bad taste.
After all how can this work?
You would buy a left and a right anyway so they are giving you nothing ( after all this is News International so you would expect this)
Unless, of course, you only have a left foot. Then you would only need one and could do nothing with the right shoe. Unless you had a friend that only had a right foot. You could then do a deal and sell the right shoe and make a profit.
If you ask them to only send one shoe this would be expensive at about £29.
Do you think they would do a deal and give you a discount if you only had the one?
This would also avoid waste and help global warming.
Yes, this is the best plan.
My head hurts now. I am going for a lay down in a darkened room.

Tuesday, 10 April 2007


The news that going to bed with a cocoa may stave off a heart attack is great news for old sods like me.
At last I can wake up about 11 p.m. turn off the telly and put the kettle on for a real nightcap without feeling a silly old git. After all the with it people will all be having cocoa now.
For the first time in my life I will be hip--sorry cool. Almost gave my real age away there.
All I need to do is find my slippers.
Or would that make me seem hot?
It's spoilt now--damm it.

Saturday, 7 April 2007


The most surprising news story of the year so far is that Alex Ferguson is complaining.
No it is not the normal one of all referees are against Manchester United.
This time it is because Spurs are playing their league game against Chelsea with an early kick off today after being in a European game on Thursday Night.
Fergie thinks the poor dears will be tired out after working for 90 mins two days ago and so give Chelsea an advantage.
As well as this being a load of crap why does he always think the world is aginst him?
He ought to see a doctor
He does not know he is born.
Having the world against you is living in Africa with your babies dying because you do not have any clean water. And when your farm animals are dying due to a lack of water and feed and you can see your only food source disappear.
Having the world against you in this country is living on a sink estate on £120 a week with no hope.
Do you want more examples? Perhaps you do not need them.
Grow up Fergie and get yourself in the real world.
It may seem strange to you but there are more important things than football and more important things than putting bonus money in a multi millionairs pocket.